A Few Questions That I Would Like To Ask Osama Bin Laden's Wives

Hi ladies! Can I just call you all all Ms. bin Laden?
Or do you guys have a numbering system?
So you are 3 of bin Laden’s 5 wives. What’s up with that?
Nice burqa. Who are you wearing today?
Say, nice place! Whose your decorator?
I knew a Verna and Al Qaeda from Toronto. Any relation?
So tell me, what’s HE REALLY like?
Did he have cute pet names for you guys?
Sorry to ask but what in the world were you thinking?
So, which one of you is the cute wife?
Finish sentence: The best part about being Ms. bin Laden is....
When they make the movie, who do you want to play you?
Do you know John Edwards by any chance?
So seriously, what in the world were you thinking?
I always wondered, does Al Qaeda have an HR department?
Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Sorry, trick question.
So what's next for Ms. bin Laden? You go first.
Finish sentence: If I had to do it all over again, I would....
Did you guys check out Lady Gaga's new album yet? 

An Imaginary Conversation Between Reporter Bob Woodruff, Governor Mark Sanford, and Senator John Edwards, Based on Actual Transcripts

Bob Woodruff: Let me ask you the question, did you have an affair?
Senator Edwards: In 2006 2 years ago, I made a very serious mistake.
Governor Sanford: I'll lay it out. It's going to hurt. And we'll let the chips fall where they may.

Bob Woodruff: Is this affair completely over?
Senator Edwards: In 2006 I told Elizabeth about the mistake, asked her for her forgiveness, asked God for his forgiveness.
Governor Sanford: Okay. Yeah. Right, right, right.

Bob Woodruff: I know this is a very difficult question, but were you in love with her?
Senator Edwards: There is a deep and abiding love that exists between Elizabeth and myself. It's always been there, it in my judgment has never gone away.
Governor Sanford: We called it Jurassic Park because it was the kids' dinosaur sheets and all kinds of different folks were living there in the campaign.

Bob Woodruff: How could you have done this?
Senator Edwards: First of all it happened during a period after she was in remission from cancer, that's no excuse in any possible way for what happened.
Governor Sanford: And he was incredibly gentlemanly, as you cannot imagine, in saying here were some things that I was struggling with.

Bob Woodruff: Why did you continue to deny it and not tell the truth?
Senator Edwards: Because I did not want the public to know what I had done. Fair and simple.
Governor Sanford: And the biggest self of self is, indeed, self; that sin is, in fact, grounded in this notion of what is it that I want as opposed to somebody else?

Bob Woodruff: There are reports that you have tried to cover up.
Senator Edwards: Uh, this is what I can tell you. I've never paid a dime of money to any of the people that are involved.
Governor Sanford: All of my family knows about this and just to be absolutely clear, none of them are responsible for it.

Bob Woodruff: Any final thoughts?
Senator Edwards: I don't know. I told you just a moment ago, I know absolutely nothing about this.
Governor Sanford: I had my own ticket. We swapped e-mails, whatever.