A Few Other Things That Herman Cain Might Be Reassessing Right About Now

Waking up this morning
Advice he received from Clarence Thomas
Mixing Ambien with Southern Comfort whiskey
That stuff he told his wife this morning
Texting at 4:26 a.m.
His understanding of the phrase "sexual harassment"
A tattoo with the phrase "Tiger"
That thing he did with that lady for 13 years
That whole running for President thing
His use of the phrase "false allegations"
Why all those ladies are so mad at him
Politics
What's next for Herman Cain

Some Other Things That Herman Cain Suddenly Just Remembered

Clarence Thomas told me that this might happen.

Oh yeah. Now I remember doing that thing with that lady that time.

I remember drinking heavily and then allegations. No connection.

I remember the tattoo but not why I got it or who "Hazel" is. 

I don't remember what I did, but I remember that I didn't do it.

I remember the Titans.

I remembered to get the milk but not the dry cleaning.

When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it happened or not. --- Mark Twain

What Do Mormons Believe?

Most Mormons believe that Oprah Winfrey is awesome.
Many Mormons believe that Yoko Ono broke up the Beatles.
All Mormons believe that this video from OK Go is ridiculously amazing.

Mormons tend to believe that marriage is pretty darn important.
Mormons generally believe that the 2011 Porsche 911 Cabriolet is a sweet ride.
Most Mormons think that Drone Predator virus thing needs to be attended to.
Mormons largely believe that breakfast is the most important meal of the day.
More Mormons trust/trusted Wilfred Brimley more than Glenn Beck.
Mormons do not believe that an apple a day keeps the doctor away. Does not work.
Most Mormons not San Diego Chargers’ fans adored 49er quarterback Steve Young.
Several Mormons believe that Maroon 5 totally rocks.
Many Mormons believe that the Osmond Brothers were better than the Allman Brothers.

Most

Most Mormons believe that Oprah Winfrey is awesome.
Many Mormons believe that Yoko Ono broke up the Beatles.
Mormons tend to believe that marriage is pretty darn important.
Mormons generally believe that the 2011 Porsche 911 Cabriolet is a sweet ride.
Most Mormons think that Drone Predator virus thing needs to be attended to.
Mormons largely believe that breakfast is the most important meal of the day.
More Mormons trust/trusted Wilfred Brimley more than Glenn Beck.
Mormons do not believe that an apple a day keeps the doctor away. Does not work.
Most Mormons not San Diego Chargers’ fans adored 49er quarterback Steve Young.
Several Mormons believe that Maroon 5 totally rocks.
Many Mormons believe that the Osmond Brothers were better than the Allman Brothers.

Most Mormons believe that Oprah Winfrey is awesome.
Many Mormons believe that Yoko Ono broke up the Beatles.
Mormons tend to believe that marriage is pretty darn important.
Mormons generally believe that the 2011 Porsche 911 Cabriolet is a sweet ride.
Most Mormons think that Drone Predator virus thing needs to be attended to.
Mormons largely believe that breakfast is the most important meal of the day.
More Mormons trust/trusted Wilfred Brimley more than Glenn Beck.
Mormons do not believe that an apple a day keeps the doctor away. Does not work.
Most Mormons not San Diego Chargers’ fans adored 49er quarterback Steve Young.
Several Mormons believe that Maroon 5 totally rocks.
Many Mormons believe that the Osmond Brothers were better than the Allman Brothers.

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