Anniversary Cards for Polygamists

Honey, You’re the Best
You may be my second wife
But you will always be Number One to me.

To my Loving Wife Number Three
When one is not enough
But four is a crowd
It fills me with glee, to remember
That 10 years ago today,
You wanted to be Wife Number Three.

A Belated Anniversary
It’s a plural life
Having many a wife
So many kids and spouses milling around.
I get forgetful — Please excuse my ways।
I just wanted to say:
A belated anniversary to you today.

To My Latest Wife
My latest wife–and the youngest, yet
So wide-eyed with wonder about our little sect.
Your sister-wives will watch your back,
Although they hope you too will soon be fat.

To My Fourth Wife on Our Anniversary
My wives are many
And that is true
But that shouldn’t make you
Feel so blue.
Mark my words–no seriously, mark them
You bring me happiness like Old Number Two

To One of My Wives on our Anniversary
As the days pass so quickly,
And kids’ cries deafen the day,
We sometimes forget the little things.
Take for example, that I sometimes forget your name.
But on this anniversary of our blessed wed,
I hope to remember where is our bed?

Our Covenant Seal
You are my wife, loving and true
And also my first cousin–tis also true
And our kids look both like me and like you!
On this anniversary of our covenant seal
Please help your sister-wives make us a great big meal!

You are More than a Second Wife to Me
Love is patient and kind
It is not arrogant or rude
Love never ends…
But seriously, don’t you think you could get with the program like your other sister-wives? And what’s with that dress? You think we are on “Little House on the Prairie” or something? Who the hell wears a bonnet these days?