Sunday, August 23, 2009

Obscure and Probably Inaccurate Facts About Obama's Health Care Death Panels

Death Panel secret handshake based on a Freemason handshake.

One Death Panel member must bring donuts on Friday mornings. Or bagels.

Death Panel follows the Casual Friday thing.

The Death Panel includes a veterinarian for obvious reasons.

The Death Panel lunch buffet rocks.

All Death Panel members like Crosby, Stills, and Nash. The song Dark Star is played before Death Panel staff meetings.

When Death Panel members disagree, they hug it out.

The Death Panel sometimes has secret meetings at Olive Garden. When you're here, you're family. Well, until you're not.

The Death Panel is actually a pretty funny group-- lots of Death Panel hijinks and pranks.

Canadian Health Care System jealous they didn't think of including a Death Panel first.

Death Panel uses some of the rules from Family Feud.

Family members of Death Panel victims get free T-shirts that say, "I went to a Death Panel and all I got was this stupid T-shirt." And a nice condolences card.

Paula Abdul has been invited but has not yet been confirmed.

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Failed TV Shows: Shame or Bewilderment

Millie T. Kraus, Undercover Horticulturist (Drama)

Star Blaze, Psychic Porn Star (Drama)

Abel B. Caine, Dyslexic File Clerk (Comedy)

Inside Mia Farrow (Horror/Adventure)

Survivor Baton Rouge (Reality Show)

Medical Error (Direct to Airline Film)

The Burka Match Game (Feature/Indie)

Awwtopsy (Gritty Reality Sitcom)

The Waiting Room (Suspense)

Those Crazy Taliban (Situation Comedy)

The Bipolar Mortician (Dramedy)