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Showing posts from February, 2010

More Things Tiger Woods Should Apologize For

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Using my putter to make an urgent point during rush hour For not keeping my head down and my left arm straight Trying to hit on the sex addiction treatment counselor Going through the 10-Items Or Less Line with 12 items That thing I said to that lady the other day. My bad. Not giving Accenture a heads up about my massive infidelities Being a total Sarah Silverman freak Making fun of Carrie Prejean (but it's so easy!) For mixing up the names of all my mistresses For losing my mojo Taking advice from Charlie Sheen  Not hooking up with the ladies from the LPGA For not being a Saints Fan when it mattered Being kind of into that Octomom lady For naming my son Charlie Axel For getting caught

Who Dat? New Orleans Saints' Secret Weapons for Superbowl XLIV

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The awesome power of Who Dat Nation Community Coffee + Beignets = better than Gatorade Saturday afternoon Mass does not interfere with pregame activities Brittany Brees hotter than Ashley Manning We got Voodoo and Marie Laveau All dem French Quarter Novenas to St. Jude  Buddy D. bought a dress! The Manning Meter has run out Brees' mole on right cheek blocks fear The amazing healing powers of Boudin The Benson Boogie It's change we can believe in Hot air from James Carville reduces wind resistance The late Sister Mary Celestine All Saint's Day Bobby Hebert did the Stanky Leg Mojo: Colt's defensive end Dwight Freeney right ankle ligament Laissez le bon temps rouler all over dem Colts! Colt's team bus still looking for Joe Robbie Stadium New Orleans Saints Stand Up and Get Crunk! That whole Katrina thing ( What doesn't kill you makes you stronger ) The Buddy D. Parade in the French Quarter Retired Archbishop Phillip M. Hannan, Saints Fan Garrett Hartle

Hypothetical Activities by 80-Year-Old Jimi Hendrix If He Were Still Alive

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Investment Manager, Stone Free Hedge Fund Still despondent over cancellation of ER and Arrested Development Losing to grandkids on Wii Mario Kart Recurring role on Law and Order as Seymour "Puffy" Stockton  Vice President, Guitar Hero Division, MTV Networks Frustrated Alcoholics Anonymous sponsor for Sly Stone and Rip Torn Rogaine hair loss product spokesman Motivational speaker for the Dude, Don't Drop Out! program Touring with Weezer and Blink-182 Not worried about that whole Fiscal Cliff thang Undersecretary of Agriculture for Weed and Weed Sustainability Recovering from hip replacement surgery Arguing with contractor about renovation delays for Electric Lady Studios Kicking back a cold one with both Bill and George Clinton   Cashing his Social Security Check Still ignoring Beck's "friend" request on Facebook Watching reruns of Modern Family and My Name is Earl Professor Emeritus, Museum Studies, Cornell University Chair of the AA