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Showing posts from November, 2012

Mim's Handy FAQs about the Fiscal Cliff

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Fiscal Clift is the son of moody and sullen 1950’s actor Montgomery Clift Fiscal Cliff was one of the rejected names for the country music group Rascal Flatts The Fiscal Cliff overlooks the newly-remodel Fiscal Bay Spa Hotel and Beach Resort New Disney World Fiscal Cliff ride much better than the Abyss of Sequestration Despite years of renovations, the Fiscal Cliff is still not ADA-accessible Fiscal Cliff and the Psychedelic Rangers will tour with the Goo Goo Dolls in 2013 Best Fiscal Cliff diving: Red Bull Fiscal Cliff Diving World Series-Muscat, Oman Fiscal Clift and Aunt Eleanor Clift both play the bassoon and pinochle Fiscal Slope and Hill both easier and safer to snow ski than Fiscal Cliff Jelly Defense-Fiscal Cliff Android and Apple apps now available Fiscal Cliff Notes: Sequestration not nearly as much fun as it sounds For what its worth, Fiscal Cliff in Arabic looks like this: كليف المالية 

Mim's Election Day FAQs

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Where do I vote? Republicans vote at a secret Masonic Lodge downtown. Democrats vote at the Cajun Lounge and Social Club. Gumbo! Libertarians somberly vote at bookstores that sell Ayn Rand books. Green Party members vote at Burning Man or out in the woods. Scientologists don’t vote. They focus on the expression of the cosmic source. Do I need identification? Yes, we accept VISA, Mastercard, American Express, and PayPal. My precinct does not have electricity. How can I vote? Under emergency procedures, you may vote by email and FAX.  Um, we don’t have electricity for computers or FAX machines. Okay then, give us a call and take care of it for you. Trust us. We don’t have phone service. What can I do? Send us your votes using ESP, telepathy, clairvoyance, or retrocognition. What if I change my mind? If you change your mind before the end of the day, return to the place where you voted and explain to the officials that you changed your mind and would like a do-ove