Allen West: For the Folks Who Actually Think That Democrats are Communists.
Rick Santorum: To entice the Fear-of-Gays-and Birth Control voting bloc.
Glenn Beck: To nail down the Apocalyptic-Conspiracy-Fear-Race-Baiting voting bloc.
Keith Olbermann and Eliot Spitzer (Co-VPs): To confuse and annoy some people.
Rush Limbaugh: To attract the Disinformation-Anti-woman-Hate bloc.
Michelle Bachmann: To get the Obama-is-a-Secret-Muslim Birther vote bloc. Oh shut up.
Newt Gingrich: To court the Anti-Child-Labor Law Lover and Pro-Torture voter bloc.
Tim Pawlenty: For the Home School-Intelligent Design-Enhanced Interrogation bloc.
Rick Perry: To get the Pro-Sonogram-Death Penalty-Pro-Guantanamo Bay bloc. Yay!
Buddy Roemer: For the Pro-Medical Marijuana Pre-Born Civil Rights voter bloc.
Donald Trump: To get the Legalize & Tax Drugs and Pro-Universal Health Care vote.