Posts

Rejected Names for the Omicron COVID-19 Variant

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  Omicron Prime: The Destroyer of Megatron Cuarentena de Quinceañera Omega Psi Phi Variante Ennui-sur-Blasé  Jeffrey Epstein-Rosanne Barr Virus Rivian Variant Variant B.1.1.529 Cerulean Blue Flu De Viris Mundi Ad Finem The Travel Ban Variant Variante de Geraldo Rivera Long-Haul Mixmaster 不是中国病毒 The Mandalorian The January 6 Super Spreader Kinda Like the Flu or the Cold Blink-182 

A Few Other Things that Andrew Cuomo Might Consider Quitting

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  Annoying subscription to CNN Breaking News Jezebel news feed on Flipboard Guest appearance on White Lotus as love interest to Jennifer Coolidge The upcoming Albany Law School reunion  Joining Girls Night Out at TGI Fridays 9 to 5 from Netflix favorites list The New York Pontiac GTO Auto Club Fourth term gubernatorial election 2021 International Cosplay Day NYC  Doing or saying what he’s thinking Sunday Mass   A Few Things Former New York Governor Cuomo Might Consider Update LinkedIn Page and add “ Open to Work ” banner Find password for old Tinder account Update resume without asking Executive Assistant Monthly recurring donations to TIME’s UP Get a WeWork account after leaving the Governor’s Mansion Ask New York Governor Kathy Hochul very nicely for a job reference Sunday Mass

All You Ever Wanted to Know About Impeachment But Were Afraid to Ask*

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The House of Representatives called for a formal impeachment inquiry of President Donald Trump. But people have questions, such as: What does it mean? What is it about? How does it affect me, an average person? Will this be on the final exam? Will there be snacks? Can I get off early? What does the word “impeach” mean? The Word impeach comes from two Latin words: “ imp ” and “ each ”. The word “ imp ” is a shortened variant of the root word “ imperiumisu ” which refers to a style of outdoor roman toilet. The word “ each ” is derived from “ eschatology ” which is a key concept of creation science and the Mueller Report . Please note that “ impeach ” is different from ‘ MPeach , a 1970s soul duo who kind of flamed out in 1973 after creative differences about a soul patch and bell bottom jeans.  Why impeach the President?  How much time you got?  Seriously, why impeach the President? T here are as many reasons as there are stars in the sky. Or grains of sand on earth. Or

U.S. Federal Government Shutdowns: More FAQs Than Necessary

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A Short List of People Who I Really Hope Are Not Revealed to Have Engaged in Sexual Harassment or Other Horrid Behaviors Because I'm Starting to Run Out of Famous People I Respect (Updated Regularly)

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Alec Baldwin Tavis Smiley Where in the world is Matt Lauer? Charlie Rose Jeffrey Tambor Dustin Hoffman **** Al Franken Tom Sizemore Tom Hanks Richard Dreyfuss Morgan Freeman Ben Affleck Jane Lynch Dave Grohl Channing Tatum  ** Hank Azaria Louis C.K. Ryan Gosling George Clooney Johnny Depp James Franco Emma Thompson Kumail Nanjiani‏ Kevin Spacey Bradley Cooper Maya Angelou  Colin Powell Jeremy Piven Steve Jobs* Bill Gates*** Clint Eastwood Bill Murray Sanjay Gupta Jimmy Carter Muhammad Ali* Michelle Dockery Adam Sandler Warren Buffett Matt Lauer Tina Fey James Earl Jones Moby * Deceased ** For shattering CP's crush celeb image *** I meant Steve Jobs. Bill Gates is not yet deceased.
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The Trump Administration: Highlights from Next Month or so In the Future White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer gradually realizes the metaphysical, existential, and epistemological impossibility of continuing to carry out this, the most impressive job of his life, with a straight face. No emoji can adequately describe his despair. Suddenly, the imaginary Death Panels that were purposefully used as scare tactics against the Affordable Care Act now seem like plausible options for White House interns who dreamed of being White House interns during their high school and college years but have now sunk into Level Six depressions. Alt Right Muslim Travel Ban situation gets confusing after the alt rock Muslim Travel Band does a Southern tour with Korn and Green Day. Tickets available at ticketmaster.com.  Due to clerical error by Betsy DeVos, trans fats now banned from public elementary, middle, and high school bathrooms, which is good. Meanwhile, trans kids pee in special Bet

U.S. Federal Government Shutdowns: More FAQs Than Really Necessary

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Your Federal Government increasingly operates under “continuing appropriations resolutions.” These temporarily fund government programs and activities that have already been authorized. If another appropriations act is not signed into law on or before the end date—either a continuing resolution or a regular appropriation bill—Federal Government operations will shut down and Federal Government employees will be furloughed. There will be wailing and gnashing of teeth. No more Panda Cam. The following Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs) provide answers to key issues related to Federal Government shutdowns, furloughs, and of course, zombies. How will I know if the Federal Government is Shut Down? Oh you’ll know. At the Precise Moment of Work Stoppage (PMOWS), the United States Navy’s Blue Angels will conduct a wicked crazy air show over Washington DC and a few other cities. Oh, you’ll know. It’ll be loud and scary. Like dinner time at the Assad’s in Damascus. The Blue