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Showing posts from November, 2010

Shocking Wikileaks Revelations

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Mercurial Libyan ruler Muammar Qaddafi feels splendid and posh wearing Channel haute couture while watching Eddie Izzard in concert. Iran’s Mahmoud Ahmadinejad craves polyester, believes that Wikipedia caused 9/11, and desperately wants to meet Justin Bieber and "ask him to stop it." U.S. Secretary of State Clinton told leaders of Israel and the PLO to “Just hug it out.” It turns out that Kazakhstan is an actual country with a capital city, its own language, a government, a military, a currency, roads, hookers, and something called the Baikonur Cosmodrome. U.N. Secretary Ban Ki-moon reveals that he actually prefers the new aggressive pat-down searches at the airport. He sometimes pats himself down. Harshly. Robert Mugabe, President of Zimbabwe is corrupt, repressive, and dictatorial. But he can’t miss an episode of America’s Funniest Home Videos. Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi sexcapades, womanizing, booze and drug parties, and bunga-bunga party games have bee

Jesus Tries Hard to Teach the Multitudes, Again

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The Parable of the Sower And again Jesus began to teach by the sea. A great multitude had gathered, so He hopped into a boat and sat in it on the sea, looking very wise and nautical. Although many in the multitude were not the brightest lights in the house, He tried to teach them using parables, and said to them: “Listen! Behold, a sower went out to sow." Someone in the multitude interrupted Him and said, "Hey mate, is that s-e-w or s-o-w? It's a bit loud back here." The crowd awkwardly stirred. Jesus repeated Himself and more loudly said, "Behold, a sower went out to sow (s-o-w). Can you hear me now?" And He continued the parable: "As he sowed, some seed fell by the wayside; and the birds of the air came and devoured it." "Say, Brother, what kind of seed are we talking about? And are they special birds or just any old birds?" Jesus said, "It doesn't matter. It's a parable, dude. Just try to keep up." A