Tuesday, September 17, 2013

False, Untrue, Fictitious, Improbable, and Implausible Names of Saints and the Things About Which They are Apparently Patrons


Saint Ambien—patron saint of sleep-eating
Saint Fareed the Zakaria—patron saint of truthiness
Saint Yves Saint Laurent-patron saint of le parfum et les cosmétiques
Saint Zoloft of Celexa—patron saint of vapors and melancholia 
Saint Remulon—patron saint of robots
Saint Arabica—patron saint of coffee, coffee beans, and coffee houses
Saint Scopalamine of Benadrylpatron saint of impending seasickness
Saint Flöardfull—patron saint of people putting Ikea things together
Saint Sinus the Deviated—patron saint of allergic rhinitis 
Saint Deus ex Machina—patron saint of frustrated screenwriters
Saint Groupón—patron saint now 40% off
Saint Gingrich of Newt—patron saint of Bezerkistan
Saint Yaris of Slough-upon-Avon—patron saint of F1 Karting
Saint Alzheimer—patron saint of uh, wait, um, hold on, I know this
Saint Paxil the Dizzy—patron saint of Legoland rides
Saint Cruise of Travolta—patron saint of Dianetics and Diabetics
Saint Wiener of Brooklyn—patron saint of selfies 

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