Thursday, June 18, 2009

Correction Notices That Quite Possibly Caused Confusion or Grief

Correction: In the weekend movie review section, Stephen Baldwin was described as a "washed-up, born-again, second-rate, reality-show actor." Mr. Baldwin is a washed-up, born-again, third rate, reality-show actor. We apologize for the error.

Correction: In an article on the hidden dangers of horticulture, Mildred P. Mulligan was incorrectly described as a resident of West Side Village, a suburb of Brookside. She is currently a resident of the Indiana Women's Prison at Clarksville. She is serving seven to life.

Correction: In a caption accompanying a photograph of the Brookside Garden and Civic Club, the obese lady on the left of the table of finger sandwiches was misidentified. She is Constance "Connie" Barnham. She only looks like the late Shelly Winters during her fat years and gets that a lot.

Correction: In our recent series on child abuse, James A. Fallanger, who lives in the 400 block of Ivy Way in Brookside, and volunteers at the Senior Center on Main Street, was incorrectly characterized as a sex offender. Mr. Fallenger is an architect. We apologize for this unfortunate editing error.

Correction: A recent restaurant review of the Westside Tavern mentioned that the empanadas were "an affront to humanity." In fact, the empanadas in question are "horrid, vile, and contemptable" and the management is "an affront to humanity." Our bad.

Correction: Our review of Danny's Eatery refers to it as being next to the AMC movie complex. In fact, the tavern is conveniently next to the Brookside Gentlemen's Pleasure and Social Club. There is shared parking.

Correction: A review of the new Brookside All-You-Can-Eat Emporium described the Emporium as a "bustling family-friendly restaurant." In fact, while it bustles, it is only family-tolerant, and then only to White families. Not tolerant with hippies, Gays, or foreigners. Certainly not Gay foreign hippies.

Correction: In an article about the West Coast Hip Hop Rap artist Snoop Dogg, Mr. Dogg was incorrectly described as being one of producer Dr. Dre's most notable proteges. In fact, Mr. Dogg was one of producer Dr. Dre's most notable source for weed.

Correction: A recent article regarding the use of administration-approved torture techniques characterized Former Vice President Cheney as "a liar and an enabler of torture." We meant to say that Mr. Cheney is "technically not human, has no soul, and is therefore exempt from the laws of the country and nature."

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