Lies, Deceit, and Stuff

Step 1: Issue Absolute Denial About Sexual Harassment Example: I have never sexually harassed anyone. Step 2: Issue Absolute Denial About Affairs Example: The accusations are not true.  Example: It was just a friendship relationship. Step 3: Issue Impossible and Implausible Denial Example: I have never acted inappropriately with anyone. Period. Step 4: Become a Victim Yourself! Example: I am falsely accused. Step 5: Blame the Media for Your Sexual Harassment Example: It’s a liberal media conspiracy [for releasing report]. Step 6: Blame the Ladies for Your Sexual Harassment Example: She is a troubled woman. Example: She was out of work and destitute, desperate. Example: They are all lying. Step 7: Blame Vague but Sinister Forces Example: [I blame] factions that are trying to destroy me [i.e., Rick Perry]. Step 8: Blame Imaginary but Malevolent Entity Example: The Democratic Machine is making false accusations. Step 9: Issue False but Cute Falsehood Example: Most of my supporter

Waking up this morning Advice he received from Clarence Thomas Mixing Ambien with Southern Comfort whiskey That stuff he told his wife this morning Texting at 4:26 a.m. His understanding of the phrase "sexual harassment" A tattoo with the phrase "Tiger" That thing he did with that lady for 13 years That whole running for President thing His use of the phrase "false allegations" Why all those ladies are so mad at him Politics What's next for Herman Cain

Clarence Thomas told me that this might happen. Oh yeah. Now I remember doing that thing with that lady that time. I remember drinking heavily and then allegations. No connection. I remember the tattoo but not why I got it or who "Hazel" is.   I don't remember what I did, but I remember that I didn't do it. I remember the Titans. I remembered to get the milk but not the dry cleaning. When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it happened or not. --- Mark Twain