Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Very Uncool things to do Following a Nuclear Disaster (#Losing)

Telling rescue worker “I’m OK. How is Charlie Sheen?”
Sexting rather than texting the Red Cross.
Selling ½-off Hello Kitty radiation HAZMAT suit Groupons.
Comparing recent “dating disaster” with actual disaster.
Selling your irradiated land as “Beach Front” property.
Organizing damaged reactor tours with “Free X-Rays.”
Trying to hit up that really cute rescue lady.
Selling spent fuel rods. Get ‘em while they’re hot!
Building another nuclear power plant on same fault line.
Trying to translate Zach Galifianakis in Japanese.
Explaining the situation using episodes of The Simpsons.
Asking Glenn Beck what it all means. And believing it.
Describing your bad hair day as a “huge disaster.”
Wondering what a President Palin would have done.
Taking a swim in a reactor pool.
Asking Senator John McCain for advice.

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